Showing posts with label just for fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label just for fun. Show all posts

Monday, July 25, 2011

A great article from Hoosier Ag Today!

An Open Letter to 4-H Livestock
07/24/2011

By Gary Truitt

Dear 4-H livestock projects:
I am writing to voice my concern over several incidents that have occurred at county fairs across the Midwest this summer. While seemingly isolated incidents they represent a trend that could result in the loss of your popularity and the ability of your exhibitors to bring you to the fair. While I agree that you may be justified in your actions, the bottom line is that you are setting things in motion that may have very undesirable and unintended consequences.   Let me put it in simpler terms so the sheep and turkeys will understand: you had better start behaving yourselves in public.

I have received several documented reports of bad behavior on the part of 4-H animals at county fairs. These occurred in different fairs across the Midwest and involved several different species. All, however, involved interaction with the non-farm public.   While these may seem trivial to you, it is a serious matter to the city folks who are walking through the barns. Let's be honest -- you are the star of the show at the county fair. Yes, there are the midway, the fair food, and the tractor pull, but research has shown the biggest reason people come to the fair is you. This is your one and only chance to be a star, so don't blow it. Let me offer a few help suggestions.

Hogs: While I realize it is hot and you are exceeding grumpy because you cannot sweat, please try and resist the temptation to have a temper tantrum and go running through the barn knocking adults and children to the ground.   Remember, most of these people have read Charlotte's Web and have seen the movie Babe, thus think you are cute and cuddly.

Steers and Heifers: Please do not smash the hands of the children against the rail when they reach in to pet you like a dog. When a small child's idiotic parents let him run up right behind you, resist the temptation to kick him into the middle of next week.

Dairy cows: While at home there is no need for you to restrain yourself when that urge to relieve yourself comes upon you, but at the fair, please use a little discretion. It is especially tacky to let loose in front of a family from town who is eating lunch or while posing for pictures next the fair queen who is wearing open-toed sandals and a short dress.

Horses: You are proud and noble beasts and I know it would give you great satisfaction to bite the wiggling fingers of the children thrusting their hands into your stall while yelling, "Hi, horsey!" But if you do, you will just get left home in a hot paddock next year.

As for the rest of you, just keep in mind that scratching, snapping, or spitting is not good fair behavior. While I know you are animals, understand that most of the people coming through the barns don't understand that. They expect you to, as one mother put it to me, "act nice."

You should also know that there are forces at work in our world which would like nothing more than to shut down the 4-H livestock program. They feel that teaching young people proper animal care and personal responsibility is wrong. The kind of incidents mentioned above only give them an opportunity to criticize the 4-H livestock program.

So next time you get loaded up and taken to the fair, strike an attitude of knowing superiority. Remember you know more about animal agriculture than most of the folks who will be ogling you at the fair.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

BOVINE ECONOMICS

Here is a little help for all those who need a little more help understanding economics.

SOCIALISM:
- you have 2 cows
- you give one to your neighbor

COMMUNISM
-you have 2 cows
- the state takes both and gives you milk

FACISIM
- you have 2 cows
- the state takes both cows and sells you some milk

NAZISM
- you have 2 cows
- the states takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
-you have 2 cows
- the state takes both , shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
-you have 2 cows
- you sell one cow and buy a bull
- your herd multiples and the economy grows
- you sell them and retire on the income

SURREALISM
-you have 2 giraffes
- the government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
-you have 2 cows
-you sell one and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows
- later you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
-you have 2 cows
- you sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associate general offer so that you get all 4 cows back with a tax exemption for 5 cows
- the milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company
-the annual report says the company owns 8 cows with an option on one more.
- you sell one cow to but a new president for the United States of America, leaving you with 9 cows
- no balance sheet provided with the release
- the public then buys the bull

THE ANDERSON MODEL
-you have 2 cows
- you shred them\

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
- you have 2 cows
- you redesign them so they are 1/10th the size of a regular cow and produce 20 times the milk
- you then create a clever cow cartoon image called "cowkimon" and market it to the world

GERMAN CORPORATION
- you have 2 cows
- you re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves

ITALIAN CORPORATION
-you have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are
- you decide to go to lunch

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
- you have 2 cows
- you county them and learn you have 5 cows
- you count them again and learn you have 42 cows
- you count them again and learn you have 2 cows
- you stop counting and open another bottle of vodka

SWISS CORPORATION
-you have 5000 cows, none of them belong to you
- you charge the owners a storage fee

CHINESE CORPORATION
- you have 2 cows
- you have 300 people milking them
- you claim that you have full employememnt and high bovine productivity
- you arrest the newsman who reported the real situation

INDIAN CORPORATION
-you have 2 cows
- you worship them

BRITISH CORPORATION
-you have 2 cows
-both are mad

IRAQI CORPORATION
- everyone thinks you have lots of cows
- you tell them you have none
- no one believes you , so they bomb the @$#% out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
- you have 2 cows
- the one on the left looks very attractive

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
- you have 2 cows
- business seems good
- you close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I HEART POSTCARDS!

I was so inspired by a new project a fellow ag enthusiast is starting a AG fact postcard collection. He is trying to collect postcards with ag facts on them from around the country. It is so funny he is starting the collection cause about 3 years ago I made up postcards of different ag commodities on them for kids of all ages to color or mail out with ag facts on the back of them. (if you want to see them please email us at agademics@gmail.com) I love the idea so much I would love to have my own collection and even make up a little book of the postcards from around the country. So all you retired Barn Tour guides please send some postcards our way. we would love to see them and learn something new from you or your favorite Barn Tour fact.

If you are interested in the project that inspired me please check out the website: www.AgricultureProud.com